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Dear Husband

"Every now and again, you comment about the state of our household being consistently out of order. While I don't blame you, I think you blame me."
  • Published on: 11 Mar 2021
  • 3 min read
Dear Husband

Every now and again, you comment about the state of our household being consistently out of order. While I don't blame you (which is why I murmur that I agree or ignore the statement completely), I think you blame me.

So before resentment accrues into a big fight of who has it harder, shall we discuss why the house is mostly in disarray?

busy mom

First, our house appears to be this way often. I clean up almost daily, but after every nap, our lovely children take their responsibility as kids very seriously after every nap. They rearrange our household into an order only sensible to them, not us.

If I clean up the minimum of two times a day, yes, our house will look presentable, but there's a price. While they're napping, my love, I have quite a few things to do that are easier to accomplish when they're asleep.

Those bills we need to pay to keep the house, car, phone, and internet? It's best if I'm tending to those without simultaneously wondering what our blossoming toddler is trying to put up his little brother's nose (she's trying spaghetti and bugs at the moment).

Thankfully, some bills are on auto-pay, but remember when we changed our card because you lost it on our trip last weekend? Well, I had to make sure all bills had the new number so we could have no service interruptions. I was on the phone longer than necessary proving I'm your wife and that I had the authority to make changes, too.

You know, I'm frustrated as well that the house always needs to be cleaned. I like a well-maintained household, too. But, imagine holding one of your very important work meetings two or more times a day, but you're in charge of cleaning up the room and setting up for every meeting. Imagine your colleagues always leave the room the opposite of how you set it up. Every day. Twice a day at minimum. No holidays. No weekends. Every day.

Instead of dealing with other aspects of your job, you spend your day cleaning up and rearranging your meeting room. Your boss would call you in for a serious meeting to discuss why you can't get your job done in its entirety. You probably won't say it's your peers. You're an honorable man, after all. You'd just try to figure it out.

happy kids

Me? I can't blame the kids. So I just figure it out.

I often sacrifice the order of the household for caring for our kids' plethora of needs and our more pressing order of operations, such as bills, cooking, chores, and errands.

Sometimes I even choose to take a shower instead of cleaning up. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I decide to play a game or watch TV instead so I can just have a moment off my feet.

The times you do see the house in order? We were probably out at the park or the store right before you came home.

So before you mention the state of our house as unkempt, consider that our kids are just being themselves and that chaos is a sign of good development. I'm sure we don't want kids who only want to watch TV and play video games. We want them to be active, even if the cost is our messy house.

And finally, consider how the comment makes me feel considering everything I'm juggling.

With love always.

This fictional story conveys consideration for moms who do their best, but invariably, sacrifices, like an always clean house, must be made.

 


Meet Our KeaMommy Contributor: Nadia Rumbolt

Nadia Rumbolt is a mom of many trades, including creative writing, blogging, van life, minimalism, veganism, the beach, nature, and the occult.

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