Simple Tips for Parenting a Special Needs Child: Practical Guidance and How to Seek Support

March is Developmental Disabilities Month, which makes it a great time to talk about parenting children with special needs. As opposed to child with a physical disability, sometimes developmental disabilities aren't as obvious to the public. As parents, we should not only better ourselves with education and support to care for our own special needs child, but teach other children helpful tips on interacting and respecting children with developmental differences.

Special Needs 101: Understanding Your Child’s Diagnosis

You might be feeling overwhelmed about your child's disability. Learning about your child’s specific disability can help you feel more confident and empowered in caring for them.

A great place to start? Talk to your child’s doctor and seek recommendations for trustworthy resources when it comes to your child's growth and well being. Your child's pediatrician will be able to give you sound, unbiased information and advice on parenting children with special needs.

Developmental disabilities are certain conditions that occur during a child's developmental period and can affect their physical, intellectual, or behavioral skills, impacting everyday life. Some common examples of disabilities are autism spectrum disorder, cerebral palsy, a variety of intellectual disabilities, and ADHD. 

At home, be a diligent fact-checker and recognize the benefits and limitations of online groups and chat forum. Although "mom groups" can be helpful for sharing support and tips, they can also feature a host of misinformation and fear mongering. Be aware of how much validation you seek from other parents, and always use your pediatrician as a sounding board for anything you read online.

Knowing your child’s specific needs can prevent miscommunications and frustration. Immersing yourself in your child’s specific disability can help you better understand their needs.

Parenting a Child with Special Needs

Parenting a child with special needs often requires you to adapt your parenting skills to their unique needs - and that's okay! You might find that you need to parent your special needs child differently than your other children.

Understanding your child’s specific needs is crucial for positive outcomes, which is why it is important to maintain good contact with your little one's pediatrician to discuss your child's care and coping strategies as you navigate challenges as a family.

If your child is school-aged, special education services can provide valuable support for your child. Your special needs child should have access to a wealth of services to help support them as they grow academically and socially.

Parenting a child with special needs presents its own set of challenges and rewards. Focus on your child’s strengths and abilities rather than their limitations. Meet with other families that have children with similar disabilities, so your little one can see they are not alone - and this can also be a great way for parents to practice self care as they navigate the challenges of special needs parenting.

Parenting Tips: Managing Challenges

Raising a child with a disability can come with unique challenges, like extra mental stress, physical exhaustion, and problems with family members. It can be difficult to give your other kids your undivided attention when most of your energy and efforts go toward caring for your child with special needs.

You might find yourself feeling guilty, anxious, or depressed due to your child’s condition and the loneliness that comes with feeling like you don't see other families like yours. Even something as simple as maintaining other responsibilities, such as work and household chores, can be difficult at times. Special needs parents truly deserve all the support and care they can get!

Navigating the healthcare system and advocating for your child can be overwhelming. It can be difficult for some parents to even get a diagnosis for their child, let alone access to the resources and supports they need to succeed.

Try to understand that everything children do is their way of communicating needs and wants. You might find that your child's disability makes them more prone to tantrums and outbursts compared to your other kids, and this can be disruptive to daily life, but often these outbursts are just your child's way of communicating big feelings and needs.

Parenting Tips: Prioritizing Self-Care

Taking care of a child with special needs can be time-consuming and exhausting, so making time for self-care is essential for maintaining your own well-being and ability to care for your child. Have you heard the phrase "You can't pour from an empty cup"? It's true! Parents need to find healthy ways to take care of themselves, especially when facing difficult situations.

How can parents practice more self care? Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation to reduce stress levels and increase feelings of calm and peace. Practice being compassionate toward yourself and acknowledge your efforts as a parent.

Make sure you get enough rest at night and maintain a healthy diet. Living a healthy life can help you cope mentally with the challenges surrounding caring for a special needs child.

Parenting Tips: Balancing Family Needs

Offer honest explanations of your child’s disability to your other children. Consider getting picture books or watching television shows that address special needs and disabilities.

Set aside time for one-on-one engagement with each child. This can be hard, but finding time to do this can really help siblings cope with their emotions. Each child wants to feel loved and seen. Sometimes, 10-15 minutes of undivided attention and one-on-one time is all it takes!

Encourage open dialogue with your kids and expect the conversation topics to change over time. Create a supportive, inclusive environment that values diversity and promotes acceptance and empathy.

Schedule time for activities that bring your family joy and closeness. Movie nights, family walks, board games, park play dates, and art projects are some ideas of how families can spend time together creating happy memories in life, without any one child feeling like they are getting special attention.

Accessing Additional Resources When You Need It Most

Recognize your limits and lean on others for support - it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Evaluate caregiving tasks and ask for help for specific tasks. There's nothing wrong with asking a grandparent, neighbor, or sitter to come watch the kids while you take a much-needed break.

Ask for more general help and expand your search for support. Join support groups, both in person and online, and connect with other parents who have experience with special needs.

Fostering a Positive Environment

Focus on your child’s strengths and abilities rather than their limitations. Educate yourself and others around you about your child’s specific condition and needs.

Encourage your child to explore their interests and passions and support their goals and aspirations. Teach them that no matter their limitations, they can (and should) always dream big in life. Create a supportive, inclusive environment that values diversity and promotes acceptance and empathy.

If your child can understand, use a clear reward system to help your child understand directions and reduce meltdowns during transitions. Transitions often bring up big emotions, and learning a routine or cues can help ease some anxiety that is normal for kids to experience around transitions.

Navigating the System

Navigating daily life with a child with a disability or special health care needs can be challenging, especially when it comes to public outings. Because of this, you may need to adjust your routine and planning to accommodate your child’s needs.

School might be another area where your child's individual needs become more of an issue. Learn your rights for raising a special needs child and how the education system is required to supply resource to help them succeed in school.

Some parents have shared that going out in public with their child can be overwhelming, but there are ways to make it easier with some planning and flexibility. Parents of special needs children shouldn't waste their energy on stress about how the world will perceive their child - all they need to do is concentrate on providing for their child's unique needs.

Navigating medical appointments can also add stress to a parent's life. If you feel overwhelmed at these appointments, consider taking a friend or family member with you, and keep good documentation of the information your child's doctor provides. Taking notes during an appointment can be a helpful resource to come back to later when you're not as worked up.

Empowering Yourself and Your Child

Parenting a child with special needs requires patience, understanding, and support. Educating yourself, finding a support network, setting realistic expectations, and emphasizing play and socialization can help your child succeed in today's world.

Always remember that parenting a special needs child is a journey, and with the right mindset and approach, it can be incredibly fulfilling. Ask for support from family members, friends, and support groups to help you cope with the demands of parenting. Your special needs child deserves a special place in the world!