5 things I Wish Someone Had Told Me During My First Pregnancy

If you are expecting for the first time, congratulations! You are about to embark on an adventure like no other, with too many feelings to describe. Your heart will grow so big, it will feel like it’s going to burst, and you will now have the most important job in the world, MOTHER. You are full of hopes, expectations, and excitement, and rightfully so. I was there 9.5 years ago, and I remember it clearly. After my first child was born, I was…..confused.

Why didn’t anyone tell me that it was going to be this hard? Yes, the indescribable love was there, but no one prepared me for the hard parts. Had I been aware of the not-so-magical parts of motherhood, maybe I would’ve enjoyed my first baby more. Here’s the advice I wish I was given during my first pregnancy.

1. Your identity (and your body) will change. Completely. You will go from {insert your name here} to mommy. You go from worrying about yourself to sacrificing yourself so you can worry about this other human. This is not a bad thing.  It is what we were made for. But it is a bit jarring though if you aren’t expecting it. Think of it like ending one book, and starting a new one. Your old life is gone. It’s okay to miss it. To mourn it.

You have to work hard to maintain your sense of self. This means something different to everyone, but figure out what it is for you, and make time and energy for it. And for your body. For some mamas who choose to breastfeed, it’s sole purpose is a milk-making machine. If you choose to formula feed, you will still experience “interesting” body changes. Embrace them. Be ready for them. They’re coming. 

2. Your relationship with your partner will change. Brutal honesty here, your priorities shift immensely once your baby is born. Your partner used to be your number one person, and now your baby is. This little person needs so much from you at first. And you are SO tired. On the flip side, you are now a family. Watching your partner become a parent is so rewarding, it makes you love them in a way you didn’t before. Shifts in your dynamic are normal.

3. You will be disappointed. Society is getting better about this, but for the most part, having your first baby is painted as a picture of cherub dolls and rainbows. It is not always that way. Again, this is not a bad thing. It is the reality, and part of the journey. But if you aren’t prepared for it, think about how disappointed you would be. You will be disappointed when you have a cute outfit picked out for pictures and your baby spits up all over it. You will be disappointed when you have to miss something because you are so darn tired you can’t get it together to get out of the door. Disappointment is part of motherhood, be prepared for it and you’ll navigate it like a champ. 

4. Hormones. It’s possible you will feel like a basketcase for a good portion of the first year. This is normal. Complete elation to uncontrollable crying in the same hour. This is normal. Baby blues are a real thing. If you are nursing, even more so. If you are feeling so “hormonal” that it is affecting your ability to mother (verb), talk to someone. Your doctor, your husband, a good friend. You aren’t alone. 

5. Earth-shattering love. 

I’ve heard people say that having a child is like walking around with your heart on the outside of your body. It’s such a good metaphor. The love you will have for your child is indescribable. You will stare in wonder and amazement at how miraculous it is that you made this human. And you will never, ever be the same. For a control-freak like me, this was a hard adjustment. I couldn’t control everything to be perfect for this tiny human who I loved immensely. I couldn’t prevent him from experiencing pain or upset. It’s a bit of an adjustment to love someone so much and that you would literally die for them, but not be able to fully protect them from the hard parts of life. 

You have everything you need to be an amazing mother inside of you. You were made for your baby and they for you. Embrace the ups and downs and everything in-between. You’re in for a wild ride!