5 Ways To Help Your Children Cope With Loneliness

 This might be one of the happiest times of year, but since we’re still battling the worst of the pandemic, the holidays probably look a lot different than past years. Large, indoor social gatherings are still being discouraged, many businesses are closed, and schools across the country remain open only for distance learning. “Mall Santas” sit behind plexiglass barriers or next to a backdrop far away from where children pose for photos. Large Christmas parties are nonexistent. With even birthday parties out of the question, kids feel a sense of loneliness at a young age. This sense of isolation can have a major impact on our children. 

Loneliness can present itself in many ways, depending on the age and personality of your children. For infants and babies, they may become more clingy to caregivers and cautious when confronted with strangers or even other kids. With lack of a social life, they might cling to stuffed animals, dolls, or pets for companionship. For preschool-aged children, loneliness might appear through imaginative play. Listen as your child plays with her stuffed animals or other toys. Does she mention not seeing friends? Does she come up with an imaginary friend to play with? Does she talk to her toys and pretend like they are playing with her? Young children might also complain of missing important people in their lives: their friends, their grandparents, their cousins, or their teachers and caregivers. 

Older children are most likely feeling isolated these days, too. Instead of being vocal about missing friends and loved ones, school-aged children might become quiet and withdrawn, which speaks a lot about their current mental health. They might immerse themselves in tv, video games, or reading, and refrain from participating in activities that usually make them happy. 

Mood changes can often be a clear sign of loneliness as well. Young children might experience sleep changes and experience aches and pains. Older kids might change sleeping and eating habits, as well as become more short-tempered, anxious, or rude. 

It’s understandable to be lonely during these times. After all, you’re probably feeling lonely too! In the same way that adults can practice self-care during times of loneliness, you can help your children navigate lonely times in a number of ways. 

1. Prioritize conversation. 

If your child is becoming quiet and withdrawn, try to prioritize daily check-ins and heart-to-heart talks. If your child isn’t willing to talk, try buying a journal for them to write down their feelings (for younger children, ask them to draw a picture about how they feel). Normalize your child’s feelings and make sure they know it’s ok to not feel happy all the time. Help them understand that you miss your friends and normal routine, too. Schedule some time in the mornings during breakfast or in the evenings when everyone is sitting around the dinner table to check in and see how everyone is feeling. Conversations like these are beneficial to overall mental health of the family and can be considered the first step to understanding how to help your child cope with loneliness.

For parents with multiple children, it is best to have some time in giving each child a moment of undivided attention. Older kids tend to feel jealous of the new baby, make sure to have regular conversations with all your kids be it over dinner or while playing games.

And since most of the children are attending online classes, the role of school counselors should be shared by parents. Unlike the past year, parents or other family members should be more attentive to their children's education, one important thing to do is to sit down with each child and ask school related questions that could engage them to conversations.

2. Utilize technology.

Thanks to technology, you can set up virtual playdates with your child’s friends! Many toddler activity centers and preschoolers are offering online classes. Older children can call each other using video calling. If your children are slow to warm up to technology, try planning short, 20-30 minute play dates, and help your child engage in a specific activity with their friends such as a craft, story time, game, or show. Older children can choose from plenty of websites to use to play multiplayer games during video calls!

Social interactions can be done online with like-minded community group like our KeaCommunity on Facebook where you'd likely meet other parents with young children who are also looking for ways of spending time with their littles.

Nowadays, technology is a very vital tool for family members to get in touch so they don't feel lonely.

3. Send letters and cards. 

It might seem “old school,” but there’s nothing more fun than receiving cards and letters in the mail! Encourage your child to make cards and write letters to friends and loved ones. They can help you go to the post office to understand how the mail system works, so it can be a learning experience, too! For younger children, create fun drawings, finger paintings, or hand or footprint artwork to send to friends and loved ones. Older children can practice writing skills by learning how to properly begin and end a letter. You can ask around in local Facebook groups to see if any other kids want a penpal to write to, or you can encourage your children to make cards for other people that might be feeling lonely - such as teachers, nursing home residents, or their friends. 

Writing a letter develops their social skills and is way better than sending a text message, and reduces screen time too. Encourage them to find creative ways to make their narrative interesting for other young people. This activity may keep away the feeling of being isolated, and also help your child improve his or her vocabulary. 

4. Create a new routine. 

Children thrive on routine, but the pandemic has probably thrown a wrench in your typical activities, resulting in several mental health issues for both parents and children. Take this time to create a new routine for your kids. Maybe that means starting your day with a family walk, going for an afternoon bike ride, or cooking dinner together as a family in the evenings. You can also schedule safe activities, such as spending time with family members or friends within your social or school bubble, so your children have something to look forward to. 

Make it a goal to add a little something to your activities every day or make some fun twists by creating the same chore or routine in different ways. Involving your child in a chore or activity can help develop a child's sense of responsibility. Many kids want to be involved in what the adults do at home but are hesitant to do so to avoid feeling rejected, you can invent new ways to do chores as if you are just playing games with them.

5. Get outdoors. 

Spending time in nature has been proven to have wonderful effects on mental health. If your children are feeling down, encourage them to spend some time outside! Pick a new local playground to check out, go on a hike, or take a walk around your neighborhood looking at Christmas lights. You can also create a nature scavenger hunt for your kids, which is a fun way to spend time together outdoors. Even getting outside during a rainstorm and splashing in some puddles can do wonders for your child’s mood! 

By going outdoors, there is also a chance that your child or children can meet new kids safely. While it is beneficial for your, it can be beneficial to some new neighbors too who are somehow feeling isolated. Social interaction is very important in helping kids cope with loneliness.

Extended periods of social isolation can make a toll in everyone's mental health, from children, to young adults, to married couples and to the elderlies. Most people are having a hard time dealing with the dilemma of keeping up their social skills and more so how to improve them.

If your children are feeling lonely these days, try one of these ideas to help them deal with this difficult time. We are all looking forward to returning to “normal” routines as soon as possible, but in the meantime, there are many ways parents can help their children cope with life during a pandemic.

Do remember to follow us on Instagram @keababies and join our loving and supportive KeaCommunity Facebook Group!

Parenting is awesome. Sleep is overrated. Every day is an adventure.